Crying Out

One day last week I was feeling sad, irritated, and angry. I complained both in my heart and out loud, and bitterness sprung up like a weed. I knew I was in the wrong and that made me even more irritated.

That evening I prayed and told God all about it. I apologized for my grumbling and bitterness but also confessed that I still felt just as sad, irritated, and angry as I had earlier in the day and I didn’t know how to stop feeling that way. As I went on, expressing all my thoughts to The Lord, my bitterness began to shrink along with my anger and irritability.

Today I was reading in I Samuel 1 about the way Hannah poured out her heart to The Lord. It wasn’t pretty. She was so emotional in that moment that the priest who observed her assumed she was drunk. She explained that she wasn’t intoxicated but that she had been speaking to God out of the “abundance of [her] complaint and grief.” (vs 16) The priest blessed her and she “went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.” (vs 18)

Have you ever considered the difference between what Hannah did and what the Israelites did when they were wandering in the wilderness? It just occurred to me. While Hannah cried out, expressing her pain and complaint to The Lord, the Israelites complained as though He couldn’t hear them—as though He didn’t exist and they were alone in their suffering.

I’ve found that when I complain apart from The Lord it always leads to bitterness. It denies God’s power and presence. But when I bring my complaint to The Lord it leads to peace. It’s a form of intimate trust.

I have a friend who was in the hospital for months. One night, during that time, she cried out to The Lord much like Hannah did. The room was dark and she thought she was alone—she didn’t notice the nurse who was in the room with her. The nurse had never heard anyone pour out their heart to God like that—not a formal, pretty prayer, but one of anguish. She was crying out to her dearest Friend—a prayer expressing suffering, fear, disappointment, and exhaustion. The nurse later told her, “I want what you have.”  Don’t we all? That’s what God offers. Not a life free of pain, but a life with Him. He is our inheritance. We are rich in Him no matter where we are, no matter what our circumstances look like.

Blessings to you today. He is trustworthy.

~Amy